What to Do About Bullying- An Super Easy Guide for Working Adults

 

Research has shown that being bullied makes a person significantly more likely to develop depressive symptoms [1] and to develop low self-worth over time [3]. Such poor mental health, in turn, makes a person more likely to struggle to function at work and at home, making the person not just more prone to absenteeism at work and less satisfying relationships [2] but also poorer physical health [3]. 

Bullies themselves are also at risk of mental health problems because bullies typically bully out of their own psychological pain [4]. Additionally, aggressive behaviors may lead others to reject bullies. Plus, bullies themselves typically struggle with self-esteem, social skills, and emotional regulation– putting them at risk for social isolation and mental health problems as well [5].

What’s for sure is that no one benefits from bullying behaviors, not even bullies. But why does it happen?

Let’s combat bullying by understanding what it is and the mechanisms that underlie it. 

 

What bullying is

Bullying is defined as any aggressive perpetration that happens intentionally and repeatedly over time involving power imbalance [6]. Such imbalance may refer to someone having not necessarily just more physical power (body size, physical strength), but also someone possessing more social (social influence, popularity) or psychological power (manipulative; hostile and quick-witted personality). Other forms of power include knowledge and systemic power, referring to having sensitive information about someone and threatening to spread it, and targeting someone from a minority group, respectively.

At the workplace, bullying is typically subtle but has long-lasting effects [7]. It can take the form of excessive criticism, enormous demands, offensive (personal) jokes, mockery, blame, threat, lie-spreading, hostile body language, disrespectful language, exclusion, rejection, and so on– on a repeated basis, with malicious intent. Any comment or action that demeans, belittles, and has a negative effect on work performance may also be considered as examples of bullying [8]. It’s also important to take note that certain behaviors may be perceived as bullying but aren’t: For instance, the expression of different opinions, feedback-giving on workplace behavior, and disciplinary actions are not considered bullying in and of themselves [7].

The mechanisms that underlie bullying

Factors associated with psychological pain such as stress, trauma, frustration, low self-esteem, and social rejection can induce someone to bully. However, other factors such as learned behavior, low awareness of one’s bullying behavior, low empathy, a desire to control others and gain social status also come into play [9]. For example, workplaces whose culture condones social exclusion and intimidation indirectly promote such behavior in employees who have unresolved trauma, stress, and low self-esteem (read this to start improving your self-esteem).

Whether it’s bullying that takes place between school children or working adults, the core of bullying involves repeated, power-imbalanced, and intentional aggressive and hostile behaviors that lead to poor psychological outcomes, stemming from aforementioned factors such as stress, low self-esteem, and a desire for social status. 

Ultimately, though, what employers can do is to take note of the subtle ways in which bullying may take place, as adults may employ actions such as exclusion, criticism (unfounded, excessive), and lie-spreading more often than not, often expecting employees to accept such behavior as part of the organizational norm, subconsciously believing they have the authority to do so [10].

What we can do

So what can we do to curb bullying and its poor psychological consequences? Interventions should take place at two levels, institutional and individual.

Institutionally, workplaces must ensure zero-tolerance [11] against all forms of bullying behaviors, prioritize psychological safety, set clear boundaries, hold bullies accountable, and encourage employees to manage their mental health better. Employers can ask themselves what conditions make bullying less favorable and enforce them. These may include a culture of respect & fairness, an anti-bullying policy, employee education, the enhancement of measures taken in reporting, and support for employees experiencing bullying. Such support may refer to counseling or other training programs such as social skills training and mindfulness for stress reduction to cultivate a sense of ownership towards one’s own emotional response, emotional wellbeing, and social behavior (Still think seeking professional help has no benefits? Here’s how you’re wrong).

Individually, employees must be aware of what bullying is and avoid executing such behaviors if one has the tendency to do so; even better, the bully can undergo self-discovery to overcome such behavioral tendencies. If one is bullied, it’s necessary to find ways to deal with the psychological consequences of bullying through learning coping strategies by undergoing counseling such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) that can reduce rumination, fear, mistrust, learned helplessness, loneliness, and emotional distress, and improve self-esteem and daily functioning– aside from reporting.

In short

One thing is for sure: bullying is prevalent in our country [12] and around the world, amongst both children and adults [13, 14], which means that workplace cultures that do nothing about bullying are not only cruel– they are also negligent and complacent, not coming to terms with the reality of being human in this world. Let’s do our best to change our response to this unkind phenomenon, from ensuring everyone recognizes what bullying is, the mechanisms that underlie it, and what can be done to tackle it effectively.

But what about cyberbullying? Read here.

References:

[1] Winding, T. N., Skouenborg, L. A., Mortensen, V. L., & Andersen, J. H. (2020, November 19). Is bullying in adolescence associated with the development of depressive symptoms in adulthood?: A longitudinal cohort study. BMC psychology. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7678151/#:~:text=and%20social%20conditions.-,Conclusions,depressive%20symptoms%20later%20in%20life. 

[2] Rivara, F. (2016, September 14). Consequences of bullying behavior. Preventing Bullying Through Science, Policy, and Practice. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK390414/#:~:text=Physical%20Health%20Consequences,%2C%20sleep%20disturbances%2C%20or%20somatization 

[3] Bogart, L. M., Elliott, M. N., Klein, D. J., Tortolero, S. R., Mrug, S., Peskin, M. F., Davies, S. L., Schink, E. T., & Schuster, M. A. (2014, March). Peer victimization in fifth grade and health in tenth grade. Pediatrics. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4530298/ 

[4] May, C. (2024, February 20). Bullies hurt themselves. Scientific American. https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/bullies-hurt-themselves/ 

[5] ML, Y., & KJ, M. (n.d.). Online aggressor/targets, aggressors, and targets: A comparison of associated youth characteristics. Journal of child psychology and psychiatry, and allied disciplines. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15335350/ 

[6] Dan Olweus; Sue Limber; Sharon Mihalic. (n.d.). NCJRS Virtual Library. Blueprints for Violence Prevention: Book Nine — Bullying Prevention Program | Office of Justice Programs. https://www.ojp.gov/ncjrs/virtual-library/abstracts/blueprints-violence-prevention-book-nine-bullying-prevention 

[7] Government of Canada, C. C. for O. H. and S. (2025, August 28). Bullying in the Workplace. https://www.ccohs.ca/oshanswers/psychosocial/bullying.html 

[8] Workplace bullying: 24 examples & ideas to support adults. (n.d.). https://positivepsychology.com/workplace-bullying/ 

[9] Healthdirect Australia. (n.d.). Bullying. healthdirect. https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/bullying 

[10] Workplace bullying. Administration and Finance | Human Resources. (2014, September 1). https://adminfinance.umw.edu/hr/employee-relations/respectful-workplace-policies/workplace-bullying/#:~:text=Workplace%20bullying%20includes%20negative%20acts,credit%20for%20other%20employees’%20work 

[11] Workplace violence – overview. Occupational Safety and Health Administration. (n.d.). https://www.osha.gov/workplace-violence 

[12] Bedi, R. S. (n.d.). Can Malaysia stop its school bullying scourge before it’s too late? CNA. https://www.channelnewsasia.com/asia/malaysia-school-bullying-cases-uptick-zara-qairina-sultan-ibrahim-5329166 

[13] Armitage, R. (2021, March 11). Bullying in children: Impact on child health. BMJ paediatrics open. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7957129/#:~:text=Globally%2C%20one%20in%20three%20children,are%20available%20locally%20and%20online. 

[14] Leon-Perez, J. M., Escartin, J., & Giorgi, G. (1970, January 1). The presence of workplace bullying and harassment worldwide. SpringerLink. https://link.springer.com/rwe/10.1007/978-981-13-0134-6_3#:~:text=Workplace%20bullying%20and%20harassment%20has,can%20be%20performed%20with%20dignity.

Written by :

Iffah Suraya

Lifelong Learner and Mental Health Counselor

Alumni of Boston University, USA, and University of Malaya, Malaysia

A survivor’s Story: Colourful Brain Confetti

You may ask why choose such an odd title for a blog post? What comes to mind when you think of colourful confetti? Happy thoughts, joy and laughter…..but the confetti that I am about to dive into isn’t all that colourful…..or is it? Recently and also about 3 years ago, I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. Although I have medical knowledge, a mental health advocate and a certified mental health responder. I am not going to talk about what the disorder is but I will tell you what I went through and how rough it was on me.

In June 2020, I was hospitalized in the psychiatrist ward for 10 days due to aggressive behaviour, disorganized thoughts and behaviours and having delusions, hearing voices that were not there.

The reason I called this colourful brain confetti is because that was how my brain behaved. Colourful and all mixed up like confetti, a mess…..it may sound like vivid imagination….my brain used to make up little creative stories and link them to everything that was going on around me, I was in a state of confusion. I was in a mess. I could not differentiate between fantasy and reality as there was a very thin line separating the two. I used to think I was the reason behind everything, including Covid, everyone was talking about me including the radio DJ’s who probably didn’t know of my existence.

At the time, I just was so confused, I wish my family understood the reason behind my frustration. I was in the hospital not knowing what I did that landed me there. It was at the peak of Covid and family members were not allowed visits due to restrictions. I was crying a lot thinking that my family had abandoned me when they didn’t wanted my family to know how much I love them and things were not in my control.

To the doctors, who treated me while I was there. I wish to thank them for correctly diagnosing me and bringing me back to my normal state. Although I have to take medication for life now, I still find it better than having to go back to the mess I was in.

I do hope that I find a guy who loves me someday and brings out the best in me and stays even when he sees the worst in me.

My message to all readers out there, as a survivor and fellow mental health advocate is: It takes sunshine and rain to make a rainbow, so put up with the rain with hopes of experiencing sunshine and eventually you will get to your rainbow.

 

 

(more…)